Spider Man

Oct 21, 2013

It's a chilly October morning and I’m lying in bed sick. I can't go to school, or work, so I decide to spend my day lying in bed feeling extremely sorry for myself. It's around this time when I notice a spider crawling on the ceiling above my head.

I yearn to kill him, yet too lazy to actually do so. My throat hurts, and my head aches, and the spider is oh so high up.

So I watch him a bit. Spider Man. As he crawls across the vastness of the ceiling I watch as he moves all the way from the window towards the middle of the ceiling. I imagine how hard it must be for him, such a small guy in this massive world. I think about what he is thinking as he slowly crawls towards the centre of the room. Is it food? Women? Maybe Spider Man has a wife back home and he’s just looking for a treat to bring her.

My new friend continues past the middle of my bedroom ceiling until he’s pretty much directly above me. From here I can see him much better. His little legs, all eight of them as they scurry around. A few minutes moving quickly, and then a few minutes completely still.

What a weird guy, I think as he scurries around the ceiling. Just innocently wander -- until he falls from the sky…and lands on my face.

I fly out of bed like a bat out of hell screaming at the top of my lungs all the while swatting the air in the hopes that The Spider is not longer attached to my face but has flown somewhere else.

I run in circles, screaming, violently wiping at my eyes, my hair, my face.

Until I hear a frantic knocking at the door.

I stop dead in my tracks, take a quick glimpse in the mirror – no spider – and walk down the stairs to the door. I open it.

It’s Patrick my neighbour, looking quite upset. “Is everything ok?” he asks, looking past me into my apartment.

“Um…ya, sorry. A spider fell on my face and it really scared me,” I croak out noticing how much worse my throat feels now then before.

“Jesus Christ Kate!” Patrick yells back. “I thought you were being murdered or something, I damn near called the cops!”

I look at him, “Wow, that’s something that I would think was happening!”

He raises one eyebrow. And then we laugh and laugh.

But still, the horror. The horror of having a spider fall from the sky and land directly on your face. Something of which I’m sure I’ll never recover from.

But to be fair neither will my neighbours who thought they heard a 24-year-old girl being murdered right above their heads on a cool October morning.


Kate PaddisonComment